From a phone call several days ago:

“Information desk, may I help you?”

“Yes, I think so. I’m looking for Ernest Hemingway…you know, the one about the old guy and the sea?”

“Ah, you mean…The Old Man and the Sea?”

“Yeah, that’s it. My daughter has to do a book report; do you have one available?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact we have several copies of the novel checked in. Would you like me to pull one for you?”

“No, no, I want a DVD if you have it. My daughter’s tried to read the book, but it keeps putting her to sleep. I was hoping that maybe if she watched a movie instead it would be more interesting.”

“Well…in that case, there is a copy of the 1958 version starring Spencer Tracy in the system. However, I’d have to request it for you from another library.”

“Can you tell me when you’d get it in?”

“I can’t promise anything, but I would think in about a week or so — not much later than that.”

“Ah, that won’t work. She needs to do the report by Friday. How is she supposed to do well if she can’t watch the movie?”

“Perhaps that’s why they call it a “book” report. Have a nice day.”